Janet's Journey

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Pictures

I have been sorting and arranging pictures. This is NOT easy when every time you are around pictures they bring up happy memories and you are reminded, those days and times are gone.
Grief is depressing, lonely, and tough.
I miss the reminiscing
I miss making the memories
I miss the analytical conversations
I miss the spiritual conversations
I miss the verbal encouragement
I miss the silent encouragement
I miss every single part of the wonderful man that he was
I miss laughing with him
I miss feeling safe
I miss knowing I'm safe
I miss the companionship

It is so scary that a beautiful life can be extinguished in such a reckless moment. It is so scary how devastating and destructive death can be upon the living. I guess it will either make you or break you, but either way, you are never the same after you have been stung by the sting of death.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Tender Friend

A couple of weeks ago, I worked with a lady at the library. While helping her I came to know she was 13 months widow. With tears in her eyes she confided, no one ever tells you how difficult this is.

Nope, they don't.

Because there are no words that convey the feelings, loneliness, and pain that consumes you.

Because who really wants to hear such negativity and grief?

Because "they" may just be looking into "their" future, and that is scary.

That is why I add these posts to my blog. I do not ever want anyone who knows me to think it was easy for me. It is not.

I don't blog for the pity or for the sympathy, I blog to let it out and let it go. I blog because there are not very many people in my age group who understand. I blog to someday somehow help someone else.

I saw this dear lady at the Library this past Saturday, my dear sweet friend, who is just as sad and lonely as I am in this crowded noisy world.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

If You Could Hie to Kolob

I rarely listen to music on the radio. It has been 8 1/2 years, and it is still difficult. Music brings me back to times and places that are still very tender in my heart. You know the songs.

But, I am getting stronger, so I turned on the radio and listened to the "oldies" station and reminisced to some old tunes on the way into the Library Saturday morning.

By the time I arrived, my eyes were moist, but my heart was happy and light.

Then for our opening song in prayer meeting we sang the first and fifth verse of "If You Could Hie to Kolob."

The last verse hit me very hard, and as strong as I think I have gotten, I was quickly reminded it all is still very painful.

The words in the 5th verse are what I want desperately. . .someday. . .

There is no end to glory;

There is no end to love;

There is no end to being;

There is no death above.

Text: William W. Phelps, 1792-1872
Source: LDS Hymns