Grief

In his blog, Tom Zuba questions:  Are there really 5 stages of grief?  He goes on to write:
"If you are working with a therapist, counselor, social worker, grief expert, minister, priest, or anyone else who is trying to help you navigate the wilderness of grief and they start talking about
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ 5 stages of grief
denial
anger
bargaining
depression
and acceptance
suggesting that there is a linear, predictable order to grief please, please, please do yourself a favor and run as far away from that person as fast as you can.  That “expert” does not know grief."

I totally agree and could not have said it better, but then Mr. Zuba really hits it home when he describes:
"Grief is wild,
and messy
and unpredictable
and uncertain
and ever-changing and unsettling
and unnerving."

Agreed!  It is so ironic because, at one point I was thinking of the five stages of grief and I had decided that my grief process was more like a combination of the five stages and crying.  My grief is like water colors bleeding into each other; emotions running into each other and clouding each other.  My grief has been a combination of grief stages.   (...and you know, I never really went through one of the commonly accepted stages...hummmmm...better check into that!)

Here are MY 5 stages of grief:

Tear---watery eyes and maybe one tear gently down the cheek.
Tears---a couple of tears escape before you realize it, and roll gently down your cheek.
Sob---tears that you cannot stop along with a lump in your throat.
Sobs---crying and tears that you cannot stop, usually pretty ugly--red nose, red eyes and blotchy face.
Grief cry--that gut wrenching primal cry that sounds like death itself.  It makes you lightheaded, nauseated, and weak.  Quickly followed by the fetal position.


Here's Tom Zuba's blog post I refer to above.