Yep, it is that time of the year, the grief shrouded days of September, October, November and December. September begins with Joe's birthday, our anniversary in October, his death anniversary in November, followed by Thanksgiving and Christmas (just holiday reminders of being alone)!
It seemed to start a little earlier this year, like in July,
around my birthday. The thoughts began
with turning the big 50…
then they went down the road of Joe will never be older
than 43 and he’ll never know 50…
then the thoughts turned to what have I done
with the “extra” 8 years Joe never got?...
Have I used those years wisely?. .
.
Then the thoughts focused on what he has missed in the 8 years: the birth of 6 grandchildren, the marriage of
his son, the baptism of our two oldest grandsons, the sunsets and sunrises, the
laughter and joy of life…
and he was missing in our family pictures!
In August during Farrah’s and Athena’s birthdays I
especially missed recounting their births and the beautiful women they have
grown into. He would be so proud of
them.
So as Joe’s birthday approaches in September, I’m already
beginning from a lower step on the grief staircase…Let’s just hope deathaversary
#8 will be easier, heaven only knows I’m stronger!
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