Reap Life Everlasting

Something to think about and ponder as you go through your day: 

D&C 6:33 ^aFear not to do ^bgood, my sons, for whatsoever ye ^csow, that shall ye also reap; therefore, if ye sow ^dgood ye shall also reap good for your ^ereward.

Galations 6:7 Be not ^adeceived; God is not ^bmocked: for whatsoever a man ^csoweth, that shall he also ^dreap.

 8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

 9 And let us not be ^aweary in well doing: for in due season we shall ^breap, if we faint not.

 10 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do ^agood unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.
(lds.org)

There are many times in my life, in the mist of storm, when I find great comfort in certain scriptures.  This is one of those times. 

Memorial Day Weekend

A day I should be at a cemetery either decorating graves or doing family history work, but rather I am in bed.  Seriously, I have another kidney stone, and stick a fork in me because I am done with this!

Pain, a funny thing that makes my eyes and heart weepy!

Is that because whenever I did not feel well he took such good care of me?  Is it because I knew I could count on him to help me out and do whatever needed to be done?  Is it because you feel worse when you are all alone?

Nope, I think I'm weepy because I just miss him and his wonderfulness.  Nope he wasn't perfect,  but he tried and above all else he could make you laugh.  And isn't life a little easier with a few laughs?

Another reason I'm weepy today, I'm going to lunch with his family, which is always difficult.  He SHOULD be there.  He SHOULD be there to celebrate his father's 80th birthday.  He SHOULD be there to see his nieces and nephews, brother and sister, and his parents.  He SHOULD be there to make everyone laugh and to laugh with everyone.  He SHOULD be there. . .and he's not and that is what makes me cry today!

The larger-than-life and aren't-I-the-center of attention uncle Joe should be there today at lunch with his family.  He SHOULD be able to hug his dad, catch up with his brother and tease the little kids, but rather I'll show up, alone, and everyone will be forced to remember that he's NOT there...and even though it's been 7 1/2 years, we all still miss him.

Happy memorial day...

Look who's one!

Happy 1st birthday to my sweet Bella Button!

She melts my heart.

We had a birthday party for her over this past weekend 

and here is what makes me happy:

 They really are monkey's!  

I hardly got any close up pictures of these three,

because there was too much fun to be found!

 My Sweeties!

 Another monkey!

Grandma Lott doing what she loves to do,

rock babies to sleep!

Here's what's been happenin'

It has just taken me half an hour to be able to post!  Seriously.  Something must not be working between Blogger and Firefox!  Frustrating!

Any-who, I just got back from a family history trip to Iowa.  My great grandfather's sister and brother settled in Iowa and much of their family has remained there.  It was a very rewarding family history trip finding death certificates, obituaries, marriages, graves and meeting second cousins.  It was also fun to spend time with my Dad who tolerated my obsession with family history work and me popping out of bed in the middle of the night because of a research idea!  (He also tolerated my incessant talent of getting lost--even with a GPS!  Yep, that's me!)

 Dad & I swung by Casper on the way home and met with some relatives, and as we were getting ready to leave Dad kept saying that there was another road and maybe we should try it.  So, we asked a couple of seperate locals how good the road was and if there were facilities.  Neither had been on the road in awhile and maybe...maybe not about the facilities.  We decide to take the road which to our unexpected surprise, took us past Independence Rock and Martin's Cove!  Seriously, Casper people who we spoke too!

The Sunday before we left, the Lott's had the new baby blessed! 

What a sweet family!

(Yep, my son decided the dog, Cappy, should be in the picture!)

Two of this family's children did not want this picture taken,

however they happily found their way into this picture!

Can you believe how big this little guy is getting! 

He was running and playing, just like the "big" kids!

Dip anyone! 

Yep, that's grandma's great photography and the quickness of a 1 1/2 year old! 

Have a great day, and thanks for stopping by!

Happy Mother's Day

to my beautiful daughters and daughter-in-law.  I admire each of you and your beautiful families. 

Healing

A week ago I went to the Manti temple for a sealing and a temple session.  On the way to church a few days later I realized how I was able to stay composed and keep the tears at bay.  A few tears leaked out here and there at "appropriate" times during the ceremony, and I did have a good cry,  but it was controlled and planned. 

Hummmm I thought, "grief maturity"?  The ability to control those emotions.  Maturity and self-discipline of the grieving widow?

"Grief maturity" is when you can keep it together in what are tender places in doing things that remind you of your sweet deceased husband?

Opposite is "grief immaturity"  where you are just a bawling idiot that cannot control the tears, the sobs or calm down the emotion. 

Suddenly I realized, nope, it is not "grief maturity" it is HEALING.

Finally!

Recognition

Last week I helped a patron at the Library.  She was slow and lacked attention when I asked her questions.  I realized I didn't have to rush anywhere else, so I took my time to help her.  I slowed down the pace.  I didn't believe she had dementia or a disability.

I just couldn't put my finger on it. . .

Something definitely was wrong, but it wasn't until she made an off-hand comment on the way to the printer I realized I recognized the characteristics. . .

G - r - i - e - f
Her husband had passed away and she was trying to find something in life to give her meaning.  I recognized the "grief funk" which is thicker and sadder than "grief fog".

I felt so bad for her, she was almost a year.  I remember that dark, lonely, sad, isolated and painful place. 

I hoped my words and hug helped her along her journey. 

Later, I cried for her because I knew her journey and her pain.  And then I cried because I realized I had healed.  Yep, that place of "grief funk"  and even "grief fog" is a memory and no longer a residence!

The shoe

A pair of shoes is useful.  

A comfortable pair of shoes keeps your feet dry, protects from the rocks and thorns, and supports your body as you move through life.

A single shoe is useless and out of place.  You cannot adjust or adapt to a single shoe. You cannot hop through life on one foot, just because you have lost a shoe. 

                                       
I feel like the single shoe.  I miss the pair I used to be.  I cannot function as the best me without the other shoe.

I worked very hard for 24 years to be part of a pair, now I feel like the cast off missing its mate--in good condition, but impractical without a mate. I’m hopping through life trying to make being “one” and “single” work, but it is lonely and I just don’t fit in. 

No one walks into the closet and reminds me I'm not part of a pair, but I see and live it every single day.  I sit by myself, I eat by myself, I drive by myself, I watch television by myself, and I sleep by myself. 

I feel like half of me is missing; I feel out of sorts in a world of two footed people, I'm a single shoe, trying to be useful and fit in, but seriously, how comfortable can one be as a single shoe?