Day 27--Grateful for Laughter

and a sense of humor!

Life is too short not laugh!

Here's some lighter humor...

Athena & her sense of fashion!

Mr K and his fav glasses!

Yep that's what I said!

Everybody looks good in a good mustache!

Yummmm, want some?

Bubbles in  grandma's tub----the BEST!

Day 24--Thankful for Simplicity

"Let us simplify our lives a little. Let us make the changes necessary to refocus our lives on the sublime beauty of the simple, humble path of Christian discipleship—the path that leads always toward a life of meaning, gladness, and peace."

—Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Of Things That Matter Most", General Conference, October 2010
Topics: Simplify, Disciple

Day 23--Grateful for Technology

Apple

IPad!

Yep, a luxury.  

But it makes my life easier and it keeps me in touch with the outside world!

I LOVE the FaceTime!

I love using my IPad for a radio.  It's lightweight and I carry it throughout the house with me.

When I travel I use my IPad as my television and watch Netflix.

I love being able to have the internet available quick and easy.

I love reading on my IPad.  It is always the right size and it always has the correct lighting!

I LOVE MY IPAD,

and I am grateful for it!

Day 19--Gratitude Quote

"A grateful heart, then, comes through expressing gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His blessings and to those around us for all that they bring into our lives. This requires conscious effort—at least until we have truly learned and cultivated an attitude of gratitude."

—Thomas S. Monson, "The Divine Gift of Gratitude"

Day 17--Grateful for Teachers

home & visiting teachers, that is!

I have developed some true friendships from these great callings.  (In our Church we have home and visiting teachers who visit church members each month.  For more info go here.)

It has been through these visits great friendships have been developed.  Not just from being taught, but also from teaching.  I love the Sisters I have taught over the years and the friendships I have made.

It is always nice to know that someone is going to check on you each month.  It is always nice to know that there are extra people praying for you when you are going through a tough time.  It is also nice to know there is ALWAYS someone you can call no matter what!

Thank you home and visiting teachers.  Past and present.  I love you all and appreciate what you have done and what you continue to do.  I hope you all know how you have influenced my life.  I love you, and for those visiting teachers and home teachers from my past, I MISS YOU ALL!

Day 16--Blessed with Safety

I am extremely grateful 

I was spared from the fires

 and mud slides from this past year.

I am safe, and for this I am very thankful.

Day 15--Gratitude Quote

"This is a wonderful time to be on earth. While there is much that is wrong in the world today, there are many things that are right and good. There are marriages that make it, parents who love their children and sacrifice for them, friends who care about us and help us, teachers who teach. Our lives are blessed in countless ways."

—Thomas S. Monson, "The Divine Gift of Gratitude"
Topics: Gratitude

Day 14--Grateful for FB

Yep, FaceBook!

I love keeping up with my friends.

I love seeing the families of those I taught in Primary.

I love seeing the graduations, new babies, wedding, and other wonderful events that everyone shares.

I love the funny saying on FaceBook!  Sometimes I need a good laugh!

I love hearing from family and seeing how they are doing.

I love reading pages that share the same interests that I have.

I love it and it is my link to the outside world and to those friends who live far away...and for that I am grateful!

 

Day 13--Gratitude Quote

"We can lift ourselves and others as well when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues."

—Thomas S. Monson, "The Divine Gift of Gratitude"
Topics: Gratitude

Day 12--Grateful for the Memories

the memories!

The fun times,
The serious times,
The good times,
and even the bad times.
It all adds up to beautiful memories
of our life together.

The gifts for my birthday,
anniversary,
Christmas,
or just because you loved me.

Thank you for being you and your quirks.
The hats,
The jokes,
The crazy food,
The nickname,
The fun.

Thank you for the travels,
the hours and hours exploring the deseret.
The deer hunts for our anniversary!
The trip to Kansas and the one to Oregon. 

Thank you for the spiritual discussions and for teaching me.  Thank you for always showing Christ like love to me and our children.

Thank you for all of the beautiful memories and leaving me with so much love and the knowledge of your forever love for me.  Thank you for loving me.

I am grateful.

Day 11--Thankful for my Saviour

"And his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace."

— , "Isaiah 9:6"

I am thankful for His example, sacrifice, forgiveness, love, comfort, and guidance.  I am blessed for my testimony of Him.  He lives.  He loves.

Day 10--Grateful for my Mission

 I am very grateful for the opportunity to serve the Lord 

and to share my knowledge and love of 

family history work and research.  

I love family history work.
I love research.
I love to learn about my ancestors and to help others learn about their ancestors. 
I am grateful for records that have been preserved.

I am grateful for living near the Family History Library. 

I am grateful I have had the opportunity and means to travel to Wyoming and Iowa and do research.

I am so grateful to meet my extended relatives.

 Even though I am saddened by Joe's death, it is the single event that enables me the time and means to serve this mission. 
Bittersweet and grateful.

Day 9--Grateful for Friends

or as my heart refers to them as angels!

Over the years I am glad I have had friends who have helped me along this journey.  I am comforted to know if I need them, they will be there--through the good, the bad and the ugly.  And they have been there through the good, the bad and the ugly!

I consider each of you, my friends, a great treasure in my life.

Day 7--Grateful for Grandchildren

I love my Monkey's

 

Mr Wrecker:

The Remister

Miss Little Lilah Lou Lou

 Miss Bella Button

Matt-Matt

Mr K.

Miss RaeganRoo:

Mr Joefish:

 

Everyone!

Day 6--Grateful for my Dad

I love you, Dad!

 I am so happy and blessed that my Dad and I have had the opportunity to strengthen our relationship and spend allot of time together this past year.  I have appreciated being able to work with him and travel with him doing genealogy.  He is always so willing to help me with my newsletter and my research. 
Thank you Dad. 

Deathaversary

It's 8 years ago.

And it's yesterday.

Day 4--Grateful for Forever

Very grateful for this day 9 December 1997.

Forever has a different meaning today than it had back in 1997.

Day 3--Thankful for my Children

I am extremely thankful for my children.

 I love my children and the spouses that they have chosen.
They are all great moms and dads.
They are all great citizens and contributors to society.  (Yep that means no one is living in my basement! Just kidding!)
I'm proud of them and their decisions that have made in their lives.
I am proud of the people they are and the things they do.
Thank you children for making being a mom so easy!  (Yep, with age come amnesia!)

 I love each of you a whole lot and I know your father does too.
Each of you are great and you continue to bless my life.

And ya know, it's a little crazy I miss all the little annoying things that you did when you were growing up.  I am grateful to be you mom.  Thank you.

November the Month of Gratitude

Everyday for the month I will list what I am grateful for, or post a special quote about gratitude. 
(None of them will be listed in any particular order--just my mood!)

I have been extremely blessed in my life.

I have been given much, and enough to share,

and for this I am extremely grateful.

Happy Anniversary!

Once in a while

in an ordinary life,

love gives us a fairytale.

32 years and counting to forever. . .

My Kitchen Stinks Like Him

Yep it does.
Here is what happened:

Last month we had a birthday party for Joe and Labor Day weekend.  We all made a dish that reminded us of him.

I made his f-a-m-o-u-s HOT s-h-r-i-m-p that he perfected.

I have a half of a bottle of the HOT chili sauce in the fridge.

Today, I scrambled some eggs.

I decided to add jalapeno peppers. 

I open the refrigerator, the shelf comes off and EVERYTHING in the door goes flying.  The lid on the  HOT chili sauce comes off spewing the oily HOT mixture all over the crispers in the fridge.

When Joe used to cook his f-a-m-o-u-s HOT s-h-r-i-m-p, you could smell it in the upstairs-across-the-hall apartment.

The smell consumes the air.

Yep, that is what my kitchen smells like.

I go upstairs and eat my eggs.

The next time I go downstairs my kitchen stinks like his f-a-m-o-u-s HOT s-h-r-i-m-p!

Bring on the tears!

Calculations

While I was getting my nails done, I glanced up at the clock.  I mentally calculate; I could be outta here by 12:15 and at the library by 12:30.  Good then I can research until 4:30; 4 hours research.  Then I see Oct. 5.  I automatically calculate again: I have 20 days to get Joe an anniversary gift. 

Maybe it was all the nail polish fumes.

Maybe it was the relaxing pedicure.

Maybe it was just for one brief minute I forgot.

My eyes saw the date "Oct 5" and my mind calculated.

Seriously!

How can one spend EVERY-SINGLE-DAY-AND-NIGHT for the past almost 8 years grieving and in one single unsuspecting second forget!?!?!

My calculations slap me in the face. . .

Suddenly I cannot run and hide anymore. . .

The lump in my throat is because it is October. . .
Then
it
will
be
November!

As I sat in church yesterday, I wanted to bolt...now there is an "old-familiar-never-want-to-experience-again" feeling! 
Yep, it's that time of the year!

Three recent deaths and a funeral; and here I thought I was doing alright--until that darn clock!

Welcome crisp weather, beautiful leaves, and tears!

Comfort from Conference

In speaking about the loss of his baby son, Elder Bowen said he learned:

"I was given to know that I had not been robbed, 

but rather that there was a great blessing awaiting 

me if I would prove faithful."

Source:
Elder Shayne M. Bowen, Quorum of the Seventy.  General Conference, 5 October 2012 morning session.

Harvest Moon

The harvest moon rising across the lake.  

Love the view I have from my back window!

Primary Program

Sunday I went to the monkies primary program.  They were a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e!  Made me remember the primary programs of when my children were little.  Farrah and Athena would sing and if they didn't know the words they would fake it.  Anthony, on-the-other-hand, would stand there mouth closed tight and he wouldn't try to sing and he wouldn't even smile!

Quote

"A consistent, righteous life produces an inner power and strength that can be permanently resistant to the eroding influence of sin and transgression."

—Richard G. Scott, "The Transforming Power of Faith and Character", General Conference, October 2010
Topics: Righteousness

What I have been doing

I am so excited I cannot wait to tell you all about it, 

however they have not had the official release yet :(

But when they do, I'm gonna shout all about it!

Dreary

Okay so this blog is getting a little dreary with all of the grief posts I have been writing.  Humm, guess it's the time of the year, being in touch with my feelings and missing a wonderful man like crazy!

So here is some fun stuff--random pictures!

Every Widow Needs a Joan

A friend morning, noon, and night
Whose happy and uplifting
Warm and welcoming.

A friend who is living life and drags you kicking and screaming back amongest the living.
A friend whose shoulder you can cry on, and who will cry with you.
A friend who will laugh with you as well as at you!

Some one who will fix you dinner so you get a little nutrition every once in awhile,
And who invites you to do everything no matter how many declines you give her!

A friend who knocks on your door or calls in the mornings, so you can keep your mornings and nights straight!
A friend from the beginning to the end. . .
A friend who can stomach the ugliness and still be sweet. . .

A good friend, through thick, thin and,
Through the ugly and the repulsive side of grief!

Normal?

Sunday I traveled with the Nieman family down to EC to visit the cemetery.  It was a beautiful day with a beautiful family, but regardless it was soooooo painful.

I glanced around the cemetery as three if the children were running around with butterfly nets,while the baby was climbing over the headstone.  The adults were washing and cleaning up the headstone.  I stop and look around and in my mind I scream, How did I get here?  How can life be so fragile and short? How can I live without him.  How does this trip to visit Papa 's grave become a family event?  Everyone poses for pictures around the grave.  How and why?

When I hear little one-year-old Bella Button jabber and say the name Papa as she looks at something no one else can see, and I realize it IS all real and all because we love and miss this beautiful and wonderful man.

Death is

so

final.

It is the period at the end of a sentence.

It is no more tomorrows.

Done.

Over.

Finished.

Death

is

so

ending.

No more post scripts,

but's,

however's,

or maybe's. . .

Death is permanent.

Death is the end;

of breath,

pumping blood,

life of a heart.

Over.

End.

Done.

No more.

Even if you believe in eternity,

Death IS the end of this earthly chapter.

There are no more tomorrows,

dreams, hopes, or goals.

The end.

Put the pencil down finished.

Clouds and sunrise. . .

Grief and life. . .

Sometimes life isn't really clear through the mist of grief.
Sometimes life is difficult to distinguish living in the memories of yesterday.
Sometimes in the mist of grief, it is hard to know if it is the beginning or the end.
Grief monotones the color and tones of life.

Happy, yes there is still happiness after a great loss; my life is just painted with a different paintbrush, and more muted tones.

Life is still good.
I still feel and know love, it is just on a smaller scale.

The Sword. . .

Here's the story!

Back in 2003 Joe went to a gun show where upon he purchased a sword.  When he got home he excitedly showed me his new purchase.  I looked at him strangely and said, "what are you going to do with that?"  Joe took the sword and attached the sheath to his belt.  He then stood on his tippy toes, because at 6 foot 2 inches he was not tall enough for it to hang properly, and said "this" as he quickly drew the sword and posed with it up in the air, as if he were posing to defend his army.

I laughed at him! 
Seriously, he was 40 years old with a brand new play toy! 
Big boys, big toys!
Joe was proud of that sword and besides, not everyone had a sword!

Since his death I have looked at that sword and thought, "what am I supposed to do with that?"

The grandchildren however, think it IS the coolest thing ever.

Here are some pictures of Joe's grandchildren posing (very carefully) with his sword. . . 

Joe would have been so happy his grandchildren see 

the majesty 

of the 

sword!

 And, the parents posing with the sword. . .