A myth of the recently widowed is that we are rich. Most monies are used for the funeral and other miscellaneous expenses. In addition, we now have to make decisions through a haze of grief and some of the decisions we have made are just plain stupid. But, those mistakes are ours to make. We now have to pay for things our spouse used to do, like taxes, oil changes, tire rotations, or home repairs.
Just because our spouse had a job with life insurance and you see a new car in the driveway, does not mean we are loaded. Most of us would trade the new car back for the husband if we had the choice, but we don’t have the choice. So, let me clear it up. A new car is not really an extravagance but rather essential. You see, after the death of a spouse you have only a finite amount of patience each day, and you only have a limited number of functional hours in a day. Why would you want to waste limited resources on a clunker vehicle? Old problem cars expend too much time and energy; we have other pressing matters, like explaining things to telephone solicitors, banks and utility companies. Automobile worries are easily fixed with a new car and a warranty. What widow wants to be stranded on the side of the road with a broken car, when some days she cannot force herself to get dressed? So really the new car is just a necessity.
Another myth about the finances of widowhood is that we have money to spare. We do not. However, relatives and friends think we do. Having relatives call to borrow money when you are grieving is pretty pathetic, and a sure way to show your true self to the widow. Sure we have a lump sum of money now, however, how long do you think that is going to last while we buy our way through our grief? Besides, us throwing money in your direction will not solve your financial problems or your financial immaturity. We have our own problems; do you want to trade?
Just “hire it out” is another financial myth of widowhood. Can I hire out the grieving part to someone else, or maybe the crying part? Why would I hire out something that I can do? If I hire out everything, then there really is no point of getting out of bed and I do not need one more reason to stay in bed for the day! Sure I would love to hire out everything that needs to be done, however what I can do, I need to do.
And, for hiring it out that concept is easier said than done. Nowhere in the Yellow Pages does it say, “Preys on Widows,” and yet that is what happens. We are easy prey to predators and we are don’t even see it coming before it happens. However, once it happens don’t expect us to be nice about it and don’t expect us to recommend your business to others, especially our widow friends. What does it say about a person who takes advantage of a widow? It says the same thing about a person who takes advantage of anyone, it just says it allot louder when you prey on a widow.
Hopefully, some of the financial misconceptions about widowhood are cleared up, because someone has to be clear in their thinking, and it isn’t going to be the recently widowed, we are too busy grieving through QVC and other incompetent and fanatical behaviors.
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