I woke up at 4:30 am, from a Nyquil-induced-sleep, to powder my nose. I was dreaming that the remainder of the lawn needed to be mowed and I had asked Joe to finish it. He said he had a few other things he needed to do; I explained that I needed it done now, because he might never get to it otherwise.
Instead of starting off Christmas day like this, I went back to sleep. . .bad dream. . .start over. . .
Only to wake up at 6 am from a dream that we were in the RV and he was trying to get some sanding done and I was trying to unpack and clean. He, once again, did not see how I needed him to listen because he might never get it done.
Yep, save me the inference on what it all means. . .
I'll tell you what it means:
even though I was doing really great, the great big ugly GRIEF hand has reached up and slapped me in the face.
So, now I have to face his parents, niece, our children and everyone--everyone who WANTS him here--alone. I am living the life we created together, only to stand alone among everyone who misses and loves him.
Darn it.
Darn it.
Darn it.
Dumb dreams.
Dumb death.
Really dumb drunk driver.
M-e-r-r-y C-h-r-i-s-t-m-a-s!
(sniffle sniffle sniffle; now I'll be fine!)
I'm so sorry, I can't imagine. I remember having dreams like this about my Mom and waking up sobbing. I've never had a dream that my heart woke me up so weaping. Today we spent the morning in church. One speaker talked about the Birth of Christ. But the other speaker talked about the joy when he comes again. Oh, this was the first time I have felt the need for it to be here SOON. For you, imagine your husband rising from the grave a spending 1,000 yrs helping you get your work done! May this bring you PEACE! We will once again be able to be together. Much love to you during this difficult time. MERRY CHRISTMAS - We can celebrate that the Savior made this possible. XO, Sharon
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